The Gods are angry. Mankind has pulled the last straw. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have arrived into the Fort and they go by the name of Autovator. Playing our death knell through transistors, tubes and bloodied mics, these harbingers of doom and metal have brought a message from the Great Beyond: “Your ears shall bleed, and you will beg for more.” Metal music comes in all shapes and sizes, much like concert tees. Autovator may be mortal men, but their sound is that of the immortals. Their new album, Drive-In Revolution, appeared out of thin air on my doorstep. So as not to anger the metal gods, I popped it into my CD Vator, I mean player. “Albatross” opens it up with some big riffs and growling vocals. This is the type of song your mom hears playing through your bedroom door just before she calls the pastor up to consult about an exorcism. Fortunately, you’re not Catholic. “Sin City” is up next and has a cool shuffle to the drums and some funky guitar before it gets down and dirty enough for the rowdiest grease monkey. This is pedal-to-the-metal metal. “Vertigoing” sounds like what would happen if Dave Grohl was the drummer for Queens of the Stone Age. Wait. Well, you can imagine how hard that would rock. Speaking of Queens of the Stone Age and Dave Grohl. If you’re gonna sound like an artist, sounding anything like either of them would be a plus. Just sayin’.

Under all the rust, oxidation and fade from the post-apocalyptic sun there’s a bright spot. It comes to us in the form of the track “Deep End.” Just when you thought you’d be brain dead by album’s end from all the aural abuse you were taking comes a song that harkens back to a time when metal was, well, fun. This great chunk of metal riffing with a catchy chorus and cool harmony makes you want to sing along and beat your steering wheel. You could almost hear Stone Temple Pilots or The Toadies rocking this track back in ’95. Sigh.

Through 11 menacing, teeth-chattering tracks Autovator prove that they can pummel us with the best of ’em, and they seem to have a good time while doing it. Even if it’s not the end of the world, it’s nice to know we’ve got the soundtrack for it when it happens.