Light up the filter-less smokes and lock up your pets, Ten Benson (the UK’s best kept secret) are coming to America. That’s right. August 5, Jetset Records unleashes Benson Burner, an all-out assault on the milquetoast, corporate “rock” that continues to reign over airwaves, concert venues and mindless listeners everywhere. Busting at the crotch with raw rock n’ roll (so genuine you can practically smell the blood and vomit), Ten Benson grind their way through 12 tracks on Benson Burner like a whiskey-fueled woodcutter. It’s rough and messy, but it’s the most fun you’ll ever have getting filthy.

Cocked baseball caps may conceal guitarist Paul Summers’ greasy mop in press photos, but nothing has a chance of hiding the mighty fuzz of his Les Paul. Ten Benson’s sound is centered around the dual attack of Summers and Chris Teckkam’s guitars, which often mirror another, one badass trying to stare down the other. The duo’s love of American fare like ZZ Top, AC/DC and The Melvins is also shared with the throbbing rhythm section, obvious on throat-stompers like “Robot Tourist,” “Tits,” and the gnarly “Black Snow.” With the exception of the marvelously obtuse “Under Heavy Riffage,” beats stay within 4/4 parameters, incorporating unambiguous musicianship, keeping everything alarmingly simple. Benson Burner wasn’t built to impress snobby critics with musical finesse; it was designed to rock, and it does.

Founding member and vocalist Teckkam has enough charisma to lead two or three bands, and he’s seemingly poured it all into Benson Burner. Apparently raised on a diet of Ween, Thin Lizzy, Butthole Surfers and the aforementioned acts, Teckkam conjures up flavors of each of these while letting the cement dry on his own cracked throat style. His hair-raising howls and whelps aren’t tiresome, instead Teckkham’s peculiar mannerisms become affable, beckoning the listener to return once the Burner is extinguished. Those who aren’t so charmed with Teckkam’s coarse approach should keep in mind that, in addition to guitar and vox, the liner notes also give him credit for “axe.”

Ten Benson are not for the weak of heart. They are not for the pregnant, the morally uptight or anyone who has PreciousMoments.Com “bookmarked” on their web browser. If, however, you’re ready to have a good time, if you want to party, then Benson Burner are for you. All you need to do is cue up, say “Rock Cottage” (the perfect update to Gary Glitter’s “Rock & Roll Pt. 2,” a song every dumb sports fan is familiar with) and pump your fist in the air.

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