First I saw The Contender which was so grimly not interesting, not entertaining, not suspenseful, not believable, not anything but a dull didactic polemic that I could scarcely believe my eyes. Stay home and watch West Wing if you want to see an entertainment that understands and revels in politics.

I hurried out to see Dr. T and the Women thinking surely a Robert Altman film would cleanse my palate. Full of tiny bubbles, it did help, but it is only a tepid pleasure. It is so loosely constructed and so little happens that it hardly leaves an impression, except of feathers, furs, jewels, hair and makeup ó all of which are absolutely fabulous darlings! There is a very nice music video-like seduction sequence to one of my favorite Lyle Lovett songs, but that little thrill belongs more to Mr. Lovett than to Mr. Altman or the actors involved.

Taken together, these two films are opposing but equally miserable examples of what is out there for women looking to see a little glimmer of something desirable or delightful up on the screen. Okay, okay, Richard Gere is as handsome and charming in Dr. T as any man has a right to be. His Dr. T is quite a dreamboat. Even so, itís hard to work up much ardor for a man who spends his days fending off patients and nurses, no matter how unattractive their overweening neuroses make them.

But the women, the women! What a dismal parade of female characters populate these two films. Really, only the clothes and accessories are worth a look for any of them.

First, there is Senator Laine Hanson, played by Joan Allen, the contender. We meet her while she is on her desk with her chief of staff who also happens to be her husband. They are reviewing positions not position papers. This is so we know she is not some bloodless, icy political witch. You know who Iím talking about.

The President, Jeff Bridges, doing his best Martin Sheen, has to appoint a Vice President. The elected Vice President has died in office. To secure his legacy he wants to appoint a woman. Senator Hanson is his choice, but before long the opposition has flushed out some pictures and stories of the Senatorís very raunchy college sorority initiation rites.

She resolutely refuses to answer these allegations of promiscuous behavior, saying that her personal life should be allowed to remain personal. She does tell the committee in charge of the confirmation process that she and her husband practice birth control and that sheís very sorry she fell in love with her husband while he was still married, so her definition of ìpersonalî is highly selective. She and her hubby also served his ex, her ex good friend, separation papers on the day she won the election. Such sensitivity!

Ultimately, The Contender doesnít trust the audience to believe what it preaches, which is its worst crime. But it has plenty of other faults too: long dopey speeches; a silly subplot involving another contender (if you are paying close attention in the first scene, you figure it out immediately); and a very clichÈd view of Republicans.

Gary Oldman gives an affecting but way over the top performance as Shelly Runyon, the corrupt Republican leading the charge against Sen. Hanson. His performance includes a very bad hairpiece, cheap ill-fitting suits, endless calculated stammering and lots of slobbering. Heís always got something in his mouth: a cigar; a drink; a rare steak; his fingers. Sen. Hanson dresses smartly, which is a relief. Why do real-life female politicians always look like they are allergic to style?

Addicted to style would describe many of the women in Dr. T & the Women. Dr. Tís waiting room is a lively henhouse. The dull roar the cackling creates sets the mood perfectly in the opening scene. These ladies do not have the aspirations of Sen. Hanson. Getting a freeway named for a woman and making the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad are more their speed.

But these gals are fun to watch. Laura Dern in particular looks fabulous (ooooh, those zebra bangles!), and her accent and even her flaws are flawlessly portrayed. Janine Turner is almost unrecognizable she is so tarted up. Farrah Fawcett is a little too close to her David Letterman meltdown for my comfort level, but she looks great. Helen Hunt has her least fussy film role and shines in it. See Dr. T with some girlfriends. Itís a guilty pleasure that isnít fattening.

Joan Allen is already being mentioned as a possible Oscar contender. I know there are probably many Oscar contenders about to be released. ëTis the season. My vote for best female character so far is Erin Brokovitch. Great characters do help the actresses portraying them. My vote for best actress so far would go to Julia Roberts.