This is not how the fact of Andy’s virginity is greeted by his co-workers when his secret is found out. Andy has never really fit in at work at an electronics store, but when a bunch of the guys need another guy for a poker game, Andy is invited to join in. During the poker game, the talk turns to sexual escapades, and Andy is asked to contribute a story about the nastiest thing he has ever done.

Andy flounders around talking about nothing, and the guys keep asking for more. When Andy gives more specific detail about the breasts of the woman in question, he describes them as feeling like a “bag of sand.” For Andy’s pal from the stock room, Cal (Andy Rogen), suddenly Andy’s whole personality becomes clear. Cal suspected that Andy was some sort of serial killer, but now he knows Andy is a virgin. “It all makes sense!” says Cal.

The poker scene is the genesis of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Steve Carell had the poker game idea for a Second City comedy sketch. Carell, who is hilarious as Andy, co-wrote the screenplay for Virgin with Jude Apatow, a veteran screenwriter. The two worked together on Anchorman and make a great team here, with Apatow making his directorial debut.

One thing The 40-Year-Old Virgin gets right is that the changes in attitude toward sexuality in this country have changed so much that a man still a virgin at 40 is considered about as rare and weird as a serial killer. There is plenty in this movie to offend anyone who laments how sexually charged, vulgar and pornography-laden our society has become, but there is also plenty that demonstrates how the increase of chatter about sex hasn’t actually been much of a step forward.

Take, for instance, the sexual histories of the chorus of guys who make it their mission to get Andy laid. First, there is Cal, who is always cruising for odd adventures in sex, but is a big, sloppy doofus. His advice to Andy is to act uninterested in women he’s interested in. “Be David Caruso in ‘Jade’” is his advice. Cal is the sweetest of the boys, but it seems he’ll need at least another decade before he’s mature enough to register any difference between sex and sex with someone you love.

Next there is Jay, played Romany Malco. He cheats constantly on his girlfriend but, of course, starts crying like a baby when she dumps him. He thinks Andy should focus on “drunk bitches,” telling Andy that the way a lion knows to tackle a gazelle, a man knows, from his DNA, to tackle “drunk bitches,” though, he maintains, he is not using the word “bitch” in a derogatory way.

Lastly, there is David, played with special hilarious relish by Paul Rudd. David is still very bitter about being dumped by his ex. He’s a borderline stalker, and when he encounters his ex, he goes into a drunken tailspin that isn’t pretty. As hunky as Rudd is, his plight is particularly funny.

Though all these guys are well-intentioned, in terms of helping Andy out of his delicate condition, they are hardly poster boys for the joy of sex. If these are the initiated, the trappings of Andy’s virgin life surrounded by childhood toys, action figures still in their original packaging and riding his bike to work seems not so bad in comparison. The guys are great comic relief. There advice is comical, and their endless “You know how I know you are gay?” conversation is very amusing.

Wedding Crashers started a lot of talk about the triumphant return of the R-rated comedy. The 40-Year-Old Virgin is more consistently full of R-rated humor and jokes and doesn’t turn to romance as quickly as Wedding Crashers. But even more so than Wedding Crashers, friendship, romance and the underlying sweetness needed to make friendship and romance believable are as present in the movie as dirty jokes.

And the women in the world of Virgin are also a bit of a cautionary tale. David’s ex doesn’t seem worth mourning. Jay’s girlfriend seems like a nagging wife in training. Jane Lynch, who has made us laugh like crazy in Best in Show and other Christopher Guest movies, is scary and hilarious as Andy’s boss who wants to help him get past his virginity. Elizabeth Banks is genuinely sexy, even if she is the kind of freak who barely needs or notices what man is in the room with her.

Andy’s instincts are good, and he sparks to Trish, a woman who works across the street from the electronics store. Trish has a business that sells things on eBay (conspicuous product placement alert). Though it is hard to imagine that even though she has three kids and a grandkid Catherine Keener wouldn’t have someone in her life, in the world of this movie there is no man but Andy with enough manliness to take on the kind of woman that already has adult responsibilities.

Trish is a little man shy because of her kids (one of her daughters walks in on Andy and Trish as they are very early on trying to find a little intimacy) and after that embarrassment asks Andy if they could date for awhile without sex so they could get to know each other. Andy is eager to agree. He is more frightened than eager to engage in sex with someone he is falling in love with.

Their courtship goes well, with Trish a lot more bothered than Andy. When the sexual component of the relationship comes back in to play, the bumps in the road re-appear, but The 40-Year-Old Virgin is headed for a superbly happy and silly ending. A wedding, a wedding night and a song-and-dance number that is straight out of a 60s “love in” or an Austin Powers movie.

I wouldn’t see this movie with anyone you aren’t comfortable laughing about sex with, but it is full of laughs, very funny performances and a suitably corny soundtrack.